Hooray! I will be appearing at Chapters in the New Fairview Mall in St. Catharines, Ontario from 1-4 P.M. signing copies of both Touched and Death Rejoices. Everyone is welcome to come see me.

<Except you, clown. Nobody invited you!> 

Things I will not be doing at this signing:

1. Juggling. I will not be juggling as I cannot juggle. It’s really quite simple. Stop asking me to, Sean King.

2. Taking my clothes off. I will not be doing this. Well, okay, maybe just a little. BUT NOT WHILE MY MOM’S THERE!

3. Picking your pockets. I didn’t do it at my last signings, and I’m fairly certain I can resist this time, too.

Things I will be doing:

1. Signing books. Any books, not just mine. Buy a book and I’ll sign it. What’s that? *listens intently to headset* I’m being informed I can’t sign other authors’ books. Poo. Can I still sign my own? Okay, that I can do.

2. Answering questions about future Marnie Baranuik books. I will give you ALL the secrets and spoilers (WARNING: this is highly unlikely. What is more likely is that I will make some shit up off the top of my head with no intention whatsoever of putting it in future books.).

How you’ll know me: I look like this  (probably there won’t be a tree in the way this time)–>

Me: I’m working on making this scene funnier. Help me out here with some funky music, Songza?

Songza: Just a fool to believe (just a foooool too believe!)…she’s like the wind!

Me: Forgive me, I hate to speak ill of the dead, but Patrick Swayze is not funny. In fact, he’s a lot less funny since the death-by-Cancer thing.

Songza: Nowwww I knoooow I’ve got to * synthesizer bang-bang!* run away!  Whoaaaa, tainted love.

Me: Really?

Songza: I love you though you hurt me so. Now I’m gonna pack my things and go!

Me: Could you be a bit more dramatic about it?

Songza: *synthesizer bang-bang!*

Me: Nice. Next?

Songza: Our so-called leaders speak. With words they try to jail ya.

Me: Hey, is that a crack about me?!

Songza: Donnnn’t geeeet meeee wrong if I’m looking kind of dazzled. Iiiii seeeeee neon lights whenever you walk by.

Me: Don’t think you can flirt your way out of this, Songza.

Songza: Suddenly thunder …showers everywhere! Who can explain the thunder and rain but there’s something in the air!

Me: Well… *kicks toe in sand* I mean, I’m not all that bad I suppose, but thunder? Rain? Gosh.

Songza: *trumpets!* *LOVE!*

Me: Oh, no you don’t. I’m writing, here. I’m not singing and dancing with you in my office at 4 A.M…

Sognza: The tide is high but I’m holding on. I’m gonna be your number one.

Me: I’M NOT THE KIND OF GIRL WHO GIVES UP JUST LIKE THAT, OH NO! Damn you, Songza. Okay, let’s get back to writing. It’s almost summer, and we’re going to have two kids here for two months. Come on. Serious business, now, Songza. Get goofy with the tunes.

Songza: It’s a cruel (cruel!)…cruel summer. Leaving me here on my own. It’s a cruel (it’s a cruel!)…cruel summer. Now you’re gone. You’re not the only one….

Me: *considers* Yup. Marnie can work with this. *volume up* Can we get even more ridiculous, ya think? … *surprised blink* Wait–did I just imagine that crooked little grin, or did you just smirk at me, Songza? What have you got up your digital sleeve, there?

Songza: Lez’do it! *panting* Took her to the hotel. She said, “you’re the king.” So be my queen if ya know what I mean and let’s do the WILD THANG.  Please, baby-baby, please. *drops mic and walks off stage*

Me: *head/desk*

(A.J. Aalto is the author of Touched and Death Rejoices, of the Marnie Baranuik Files. And she almost never flirts with digital appliances for realsies…but she does occasionally let them boss her around.)

It’s heeee-eeeere! Yes, it has finally hit me that I have two books published. Yesterday, while I was hunkered down at the hospital with my daughter,  my second book launched rather smoothly in my absence. A HUGE thank you to everyone who helped out with the launch of “Death Rejoices,” especially my cheerleader-slash-project manager-slash-favourite pet-slash-goofball Wendy Logsdon. (LOVE YOU!)

So here she be! Death Rejoices, Book Two of the Marnie Baranuik Files, is LIVE and AVAILABLE HERE.

Want to check it out before you buy? Sure you do. I’ve got some early reviews for you to peek at on the following blogs (Don’t be alarmed. I didn’t threaten either of these fine people with being force-fed spiders. Much. ).

Book Reviews

Living Fictitiously

So today, I’m “allowed” (by me) to begin writing the third book in the series. I’d promised myself I’d wait until post-DR launch to begin. I’ve already started, however, because I rarely obey myself. I’m cheeky like that. We (both/all?) hate it, but are comforted by the fact that I really don’t obey anyone else, either, unless they’re wearing a uniform, or holding a Marble Slab ice cream cone, or pointing a gun at me…then I’m fairly compliant, if you overlook the eye-rolling and the ever present sass-mouth.

It was pointed out to me this morning that the first book in the series, “Touched,” has 69 reviews…at which point I did my perv-chuckle and went “ohhhhhh yeeeaaaaah.” “Touched” is free right now on Kindle, and is sitting pretty at #1 in Contemporary Fantasy and #1 in Paranormal Romance. While I’d love to keep the reviews rollin’ in, let’s skip today, shall we? Let me have my day o’ 69. Mrowr. *purr* *lewd grin*

Love to all! Writerghoulie out. xo