Amber C. asks: Harry: I need a good recipe for scones that don’t involve citrus. Help? Please?

Harry: I should think you’ll find my scone recipe is the best. My ducky certainly does enjoy a good scone with her espresso on a cold Winter’s eve, as you might notice from the delightfully generous curve of her derriere. You may leave the raisins out, or substitute dried cranberries, or chocolate chips.

The Jewel Family Scones

Preheat oven to 425 F. Mix: 2 cups flour, 1 tsp salt, 3 tsp baking powder, and 3/4 of a cup of raisins if you are using them. In a separate bowl, cream together 1/2 cup of shortening, 1/2 cup of white sugar, 1 egg with enough milk to make 3/4 cup. Add this creamed mixture into the dry ingredients. Divide dough into three pieces and put them on a baking stone or greased baking sheet. For extra browning, you may brush the tops with milk and sprinkle with a bit of sugar. Bake for 15 minutes or until the edges are browning.

I do hope you enjoy, miss Amber. These are lovely with a bit of raspberry jam.

Marnie: Amber C. has several more questions. We’ll return to answer more soon! But next up, Gillian G. asks: Dear Marnie, how do I get my crush to notice me?

Harry: *smothered chuckle*

Marnie: Hey! Check your dead guy sass. I know how to get noticed. Marnie gets after it.

Harry: Shruff and cinders, my pipistrelle, Queen Anne’s dead! Only, I believe Gillian wishes to know how to successfully charm the object of her desire.

Marnie: That’s easy. You do one of these. *boob shimmy-shake* Works every time.

Harry: *long-suffering sigh and eye roll*

Marnie: Well, it works on guys with a pulse. If Gillian wants to charm a revenant, all she has to do is this. *draws finger along throat, tilting chin back slightly*

Harry: That’s quite enough out of you, tease.

Marnie: See? Thanks for your indulgence, folks! Check bad for more super-useful advice from myself and the gang!