My friend Teresa challenged me to list 7 things about myself that nobody knows. since i’m a giant blabbermouth on social media, I’m not sure that’s possible, but I’ll give it a shot.

1. I like goats so much. I want one. I have no place to put a goat, but I love them. At a petting zoo, they’re really the only animal I want to see. Baby goats are SO ADORABLE.

2. I dig funk and reggae. If you sneak up on me at 4 AM in my kitchen while I’m wearing headphones and waiting for the kettle to boil, chances are that bumping and grinding I’m doing is to funk. You could place bets on Kool & the Gang.

3. I can belly dance. I won’t belly dance for you if you ask, but I can. I have zero exhibitionist in me. I’m no Rachel Brice, but I’ve had two years of lessons (five years back), and am considering going back because it’s incredible exercise for your core. I can comfortably belly dance in front of the ladies in my class because we’re all learning and there’s no judgement.

<note: I can NOT do this>

4. I’ve been practicing yoga for about fifteen years. I stopped for a while, and can’t restart until I heal up from surgery, but I’m longing to get back into it, especially now when I feel my flexibility is so compromised.

5. I dislike fighting, and I let people win arguments even when I know they’re wrong. I’m absolutely capable of giving up and letting someone be wrong. I don’t need them to know they’re wrong. It doesn’t bother me at all. In fact, sometimes I prefer it.

6. I get my best ideas for writing while I’m in the shower or on long drives with great music on the radio. Ideas that don’t stick with me, I let go. The good ones will be the ones that nag me, that demand my attention when I’m daydreaming, the ones that I enjoy fantasizing about. Those ones make their way into books.

7. I had a stalker once whom I nicknamed Hockey News Guy. It ended rather quickly because I turned out to be much more obsessive about it than he was, and I stalked him better than he stalked me.

Season 15 Episode 14 of CSI (you know, the original one out in Vegas) used a copy of my second book, Death Rejoices, as part of its set. I knew this was a possibility as my publisher, Booktrope, supplied them with some paperbacks from their listings, including two of my books. The episode in question involves a swap meet for fans of Murderabilia, memorabilia pertaining to famous killers. Just before my book is shown (as something created by a famous killer–makes sense, considering the title), Ted Danson’s character says something to the effect of “Where do they get all this crap?” Aaaaand pan to my book! I have never been so happy. If you hear sarcasm there, take it right out of your ear holes, because I am LITERALLY so thrilled with having CSI call me a famous killer and I totally understand why the fictional cop would call a book written by a murderer “crap,” so I’m willing to overlook it. Sam From Cheers: Silver Edition doesn’t mean my book is crap. My book is perfectly lovely. This does, however, lead to some fun conversations with my husband, whom regular readers will know as The Viking.

Me: I’m still very happy that CSI called me a killer.

Viking: *sigh* I know. I HAVE met you.

Me: Won’t it make a great tidbit of trivia someday? Three years before she was arrested and police found eighteen bodies in her barn, CSI actually called her a murderer? WEIRD AND WILD COINCIDENCE!

Viking: Uh huh.

Me: Will you come visit me in prison?

Viking: No. I want a divorce.

Me: Why? So you can marry your fancy non-murdering girlfriend? I’ll never allow that.

Viking: Fine, I’ll just live with her.

Me: IN SIN??

Viking: What about YOUR sins?

Me: Serial killer judges you.