Today is my 15th wedding anniversary. It began a little something like this…

Me: Got you a present.

Viking: Is it a divorce?

Me: You wish, blockhead.

Viking: A man can dream.

Me: Shut yer toasthole, I’m trying to be nice for a minute!

Viking: I feel like I should take cover, or at least flinch?

Me: Your gift is: I promise not to roll my eyes at you alllllllll day.

Viking: Whereby “day” means “daylight” means “full sun”…and today, that’s quite the loophole, since it’s overcast.

Me: That’s not what I meant. I meant “day” as in “full sun” as in “until dusk”.

Viking: I stand corrected.

Me: Think you know everything. Pffft.

Viking: Why are your eyes all scrunched closed?

Me: I’M TRYING NOT TO ROLL THEM AT YOU! THIS IS YOUR GIFT!

Viking: *deadpan* I really hit the jackpot when I married you.

Me: Yes, you did! Congratulations on your success!

(And before Jason Jones says it for the hundredth time, yes, I understand that The Viking is the only man on the planet who would ever put up with a horrible creature like me for more than a day and a half. I KNOW THIS. So congratulations to me, too. Heh heh)