Derek: What’s the plug situation at this cottage? Is it like, plugs and internet, or is it medieval times?
Me: It IS medieval times. You can have whatever you want, but YOU MUST BATTLE ME FOR IT, KNAVE. *pulls foam sword*
Derek: *unamused blink* No, but seriously?
Me: HAVE AT YOU, YOU ROGUE! YOU RAPSCALLION! YOU–other medieval-y thing!
Derek: Mom! Is. It. Medieval?
Me: Nothing is medieval. You’d have to pay extra if you wanted medieval.
Derek: Okay, how about pioneer? Are we living like pioneers for that week?
Me: I can say with full confidence that it is not pioneer-y. There’s a fridge and a stove and indoor plumbing and light switches.
Derek: But, what about wifi?
Me: There is wifi but you will be limited in its use.
Derek: Okay. Ian and I can swim and hunt for frogs.
Me: You can mosey on down to the waterin’ hole, BUT YOU MUST GET PAST ME FIRST, PILGRIM!
Derek: Please, not the finger guns.