Manager: AJ, you don’t do enough self-promotion.

Me: I flashed the room service guy in Paris. But it was kind of an accident. Mostly.

Manager: Let me rephrase–

Me: Okay, it was on purpose. But, y’know, dude in my bedroom. Hullo? Can’t hold me responsible for that.

Manager: AJ–

Me: I suppose I did call him. Does that make him a prostitute?

Manager: AJ–

Me: I didn’t have sex with him!

Manager: AJ!!! You don’t do enough BOOK promotion.

Me: Oh. You’re not mad about my flashing the not-exactly-prostitute-room-service guy?

Manager: *head/desk*

Me: So, you mean…Like, making myself sound cool and writer-y and stuff? Jeeeeeez.

Manager: Let me rephrase. Again. AJ? Do some self-promotion.

Me: *upper lip curl*

Manager: Come on. It can be “you-style.”

Me: Oh? Well, challenge accepted, madam! *cracks brain-knuckles*

<side note: when attempting to be awesome, backdrop matters>

“Gosh, I’m so sorry, but I’m afraid I’m about to be a tad awesome in a minute or so. Won’t last long, I promise; just a wee *shine!* for a bit. Do you suppose you could–if it doesn’t put you out, you know–back up a few feet so I don’t bump you with how awesome I am? Wouldn’t wanna–heh heh–step on your toes or anything. *big smile* Wow, thanks, that’s great. Another meter or so? Sorry! I shouldn’t assume you know metric, eh? Selfish of me. Uh, three feet and a bit? There. Great. Thanks so, so much. Okay, here it comes, ready? Might wanna shield your eyes. My awesome tends to give people a headache. Your awesome is obviously even brighter, so you know all about that, don’t you? Yeah. I thought so. We should talk about you! Let’s talk about you.”

Now that my self-promo work is done, I’ve got several pieces of news to share.

1. I will have many guest posts coming up. The reason for this is two-fold: it has come to my attention that I am surrounded by cool people (don’t know how that happened, I almost never leave my house), and I am swamped with edits and rewrites on my second book, Death Rejoices.

2. Touched, the first book in The Marnie Baranuik Files, has been relaunched by my awesome publisher, Booktrope, and is now available here for Kindle and here for Nook. New cover! All the smut and none of the typos. Hooray!

3. My appearance at Stonechurch Vineyards in Niagara-On-The-Lake, Ontario is coming up fast! Come see me on Sunday October 28, from 2-4pm, have some wine and nibblies; I will be talking about genre blending and the new pulp fiction, and doing a reading from Touched (which will make me blush, as I cannot find a single clean passage to read. Flaming fuckgoblins, am I ever filthy!). Tickets are $7 and available at the door. If you’re interested, I’ll have copies for purchase and I will be happy to personalize & sign.

Now, some pictures from ~WRITERGHOULIE INVADES PARIS~ <cue disaster music>.

<My husband wanted to know if we were going to see anything not related to death…>

<So I took him here. And he forgot about his wife’s obsession with the morbid.>

<Then we went to my future house. Or, as the locals call it, The Louvre>

<Everything was almost surreal in its beauty. Paris is one of a kind.>

<Wrapped up at the Moulin Rouge and strolling in Montmartre.> 

Tune in next time for ~WRITERGHOULIE STORMS LONDON~ and pictures thereof.

(Editor’s note: For no conceivable reason whatsoever, AJ Aalto has begun dressing like a secret agent, randomly posing with finger-guns, and humming the Mission Impossible theme song under her breath in the grocery store. Also, that one from Dragnet. She might buy spy equipment next. It’s hard to say. She might already own some. She might be recording conversations. She might be talking in the third person right this second … the freak.)