Earlier today:

Me: Jenny, I need you to eat more vegetables.

Jenny: *blink blink* Tsk.

Me: Jennifer Autumn, are you listening?

Jenny: Ye-es. Vegetables. Yes. YES! Gotta love the veg.

….and then…after supper…I find this….

Now, I’m not sure whether I should be glad she’s eating lots of carrots (a marked improvement), irritated by the twelve-year-old sass (OH, DEAR CROM, SO much sass), or worried that my tits are sometimes NOT calm, as the note clearly indicates that this may be the case. And what do my agitated motherly tits DO, exactly? Do they scold somehow without my knowing? Am I gesturing with them chidingly and no one has told me? Maybe I don’t want to know.

Before I get angry letters about my parenting skills or lack thereof, yes she’s grounded. But yes, I laughed. Hard.

Three hours later….

Me: *shaking my head in amazement, posting to FB* Calm my tits? Seriously, kid? Ba hahahaha….

(Editor’s note: AJ Aalto ate her veggies today…if by “veggies” you mean the tomato juice in my Bloody Mary…)