Today, I judge a Flash Fiction contest called “Menage Monday” run by Cara Michaels on her blog Defiantly Literate. Probably, no one will die on account of her strange choice in judge. The chances of serious physical injuries are low, since it’s cold and rainy outside and I don’t feel like travelling to slap-chop anyone. Sooooo to any of my writer friends who might like to take a shot at playing with some flash, the rules are on her website, and I encourage you to play along! Now, I have a few rules of my own.

1. All submissions are to be written by naked people. The Clothed are ineligible.

2. All submissions that come with a bribe of money will be disqualified–because, come on, people, who do you think you’re talking to here? I don’t give a wanker’s 2-second spit about money. 

3. All submissions that come with a bribe of chocolate will be bitchslapped into next Thursday. I’m on a strict diet, DON’T FUCK WITH AN ADDICT IN WITHDRAWAL, PEOPLE!

4. All submissions that come with attachments that sound like “awww Awwison, you are such a cute widdle judgiepoo, I just wanna snuggle-wuggle you wite up!” will, frankly be given two extra mental points, because I’m chilly and in the mood for some admittedly insincere yet satisfying lovin’.

5. All submissions that contain the word fuck will be– wait …

I’m being told by the higher forces that I’m not allowed to add new rules to this contest. Pffft! What kinda bullshit is that? *pout* Remember, all entries must be posted on Ms. Michaels’ fine blog by 8 pm Eastern time to be considered.  Good luck!