“What the hell are you doing?”

These are six words I hear on a weekly basis, if not more often. See, I’m not one of those writers who sit quietly and let the scenes brew on their own. I don’t turn off the lights and lay on my bed and listen to Air Supply while the visions form. I have to walk and talk ’em out. I have to speak the dialogue, often before it goes to the paperspace of my screen. I rant, and wave my arms, and fake punches at myself in the mirror (What? Oh, puhlease, as if you don’t).

If actors have method acting, during which they fully immerse themselves in their character, I guess I have method writing, because putting myself bodily into a scene (even when there is no scene yet) works for me. As a for instance, my main character has a heavy espresso habit: Marnie fully intends to pull a de Balzac and die of caffeine poisoning. I myself am not even a coffee drinker, never mind espresso. I drink the occasional tea … if by “occasional” you mean “14-fucking-cups-a-day”. OK, maybe I’m heading for a de Balzac myself. It occurred to me a while ago that it might help me connect to my main character if I temporarily developed some of her likes and dislikes. I went to Starbucks and ordered a double espresso–and nearly died. The barista was mildly insulted by my coughing and chest thumping. I quickly decided Marnie does not like Starbucks and instead brews her own espresso. I looked up the finest kind, ordered some, spent a stupid amount of money on a brewer (I’m all impulse, baby, money is irrelevant until days later when I go, shit that was a lot of money!)and experimented with it. Result: I suck at pulling espresso, but I bet my MC is a pro, and even my shittyass attempt tastes a helluva lot better than Starbucks. Also: it earned me a big ole:

“What the hell did you do?”

I’m so misunderstood *grin*.

Method writing does, sadly, get me some odd looks. I’m not all that stealthy. I get busted. I’ve lost my sense of shame, for the most part. I’m OK with my friends and family catching me talking to myself, or other drivers seeing me mouthing lines of dialogue at the red lights. I’m a writer, it’s perfectly fine for me to be demented.

I do wonder … how many other writers do this? Do you get up from your desk and do the angry imaginary door slam as your main character marches out on another? Do you throw a glass against the wall to watch the shards fly so you can better describe their arc through the air? Do you hang a dead pig in your barn until it blows up with maggots and then shoot it with a pellet gun to see how far the maggots spray? No! Right! Of course not, heh heh. I don’t do that either, that would be … hoo boy … that would be really crazy. *avoids eye contact* Also, it would have garnered me a huge:

“What the bloody hell are you doing NOW?”

If your character has an accent, do you attempt it too? If he/she speaks a whole other language, do you learn the bare minimum, or do you learn all the basics, and then annoy ppl by teaching them snippits they didn’t ask to be taught? Do you give your characters music preferences that you don’t share, and then develop an accidental appreciation for them? How close do you get to your characters? Do you make a conscious choice to make your MCs much different than you, or do you try and write them from your own perspective?

How “method” is your writing?

(Author’s note: I have been informed that my future guest blogger, miss Heather Goldie, very much enjoys my Evil Author interviews, and intends to turn the tables on me this week. I have only the foggiest clue what she intends to ask me in this interview, and I’m a wee bit scared, but turnabout is fair play. Here’s hoping I don’t completely embarrass myself.)