I am thrilled to share some awesome news with my readers and loyal fans. This week my publisher, Booktrope, entered into a new business relationship with Amazon, beginning with a mutual licensing deal that deepens ties with Amazon to a much more significant degree. This licensing deal directly impacts me; I was one of the authors selected for this opportunity. I was pretty excited to hear about this, even though reading contracts and stuff cut into my research time…

<Shown: Writerghoulie hard at work>

Probably, this new dealio involves signing my soul over to the lesser gods of Success and Spiffiness, but since that part of the contract was cleverly blacked-out by glitter tape and smiley face stickers, I couldn’t tell ya. (They could have saved their glitter tape, I didn’t read it anyway. Maybe I signed over my left arm and both pinky toes. Who knows? Guess I’ll find out when the sawbones shows up.)

 Now, I wasn’t there, but I’m bettin’ I know how this miracle happened… somebody caught someone’s eye over a fancy publishers’ dinner of beluga caviar and Krug Clos d’Ambonnay  (that’s what publishers eat, right? Shut up, it’s my fantasy.), and there was a spark, and a sexy, lingering smile, and suddenly: PAPERS EVERYWHERE! PENS FLYING! MANIACAL LAUGHTER! HEAVY BREATHING! (Don’t tell me differently, fun-wreckers.)

What this all means is the digital version of my first book in the Marnie Baranuik Files, Touched, will be reissued by Amazon Publishing as an e-book and/or audio book (man, I hope there will be an audio book, cuz I’d LOVE to hear the poor voice actor say “twatwaffle.”) under Amazon’s imprint, while still crediting Booktrope. This agreement covers 15 of Booktrope’s nearly 300 titles.

I’ve got a major chubby about this opportunity and wanted to share it with my readers ASAP. (The news, not the chubby. I don’t even have a chubby. I have an imaginary chubby. Stop picturing my chubby! Jeez!) If you would like to learn more about this new relationship, here’s the linkipoo to the official Booktrope announcement. It’s a lot more polite and professional than I’ve been.

Thank you for your continued support of my writing, ya kooks. I’ll keep you posted as this unfolds. And now, back to the super-serious business of makin’ shit up. Marnie’s callin’, and she wants to take you on a monster hunt.

<OoooOOooo!>

Muse: Yo, toots.

Me: *glare*

Muse: You should write.

Me: Meh.

Muse: No, for realz. You’ve already started something. You started THREE somethings. We like it, all of it. It was going so well the other day.

Me: The other day I was all wheee. Now I’m meh. Roll with it.

Muse: Are we stuck on meh? Can we get back to wheee? What button do we press to get off this ride at wheee?

Me: If I knew that, smartass, I wouldn’t be anywhere near meh.

Muse: You know…when you finish a book, someone might buy you a cake.

Me: Wonka-wha?

Muse: Or a pie.

Me: Or a cake-pie?

Muse: Because that has happened.

Me: It has. But… I’d have to come out from under the bed.

Muse: Well, yeah, that’s true. You’d have to do that long enough to type some words. Maybe a few more months of typing.

Me: And then the launch stuff.

Muse: Right. You’d have to stay out to eat pie.

Me: Cake-pie. I want cake-pie.

Muse: Whatever. How about we put your new book cover on the cake?

Me: CAKE-PIE!

Muse: You can’t put your cover on a cake-pie! There’s no icing on a cake-pie!

Me: YOU DON’T KNOW.

Muse: Fine, YOU show ME how you can put an icing-cover on a goddamn cake-pie and we’ll fucking get someone to do it, agreed?

Me: You promise I can have treats?

Muse: Of course I do. Because if all else fails, toots, you can buy your own goddamn cake-pie with all that big, juicy book money. You could probably buy two cake-pies. Or six.

Me: *excited now* One for each book. Yeah.

Muse: Yeah.

Me: Line ’em all up on the counter.

Muse: There ya go.

Me: We could call the slices “chapters” ‘cuz they’re pieces of a book.

Muse: What-the-fuck-ever. Justwouldyouplease write now?

Me: *smiles dreamily* Tomorrow. I will tomorrow. For cake-pie. Six cake-pies. I feel better already.

Muse: We’re going to have to do something about that damn dog barking, though…

Me: Cake-pie. OH OH, what about SCONE-TARTS! Are those a thing? LEMON MERINGUE SCONE-TARTS. I think we should see if the Pie Man can make us scone-tarts.

Muse: Aaaaand I’ve lost you.

Well, my third book drops tomorrow, and the advance reviews are every bit as vehement as the reviews for my first two were! *whew* Such a relief. I was worried that my work had changed, or my taking risks wasn’t going to pay off, or something-something about <insert fancy literary term here> not being <other literary term> enough. But it’s all good. Check out these glowing endorsements!

“It’s…what? Awesome? It’s awesome. Now, can I take your order?” –Bernie, the waiter at Red Lobster.

“You’re famous, mom.”–some kid who says he’s my son. (He looks nothing like me, but I think he lives here.)

“I would have read it, but I don’t read.” –my dad, who reads. A lot. 

“It has SEX in it.”–my mom, pretending she doesn’t like reading the naughty bits.

“But I read the other two! When is it gonna stop?” –all my friends.

“It’s never gonna stop, is it?”– my shrink.

Well, there ya have it, folks! You should really click BUY tomorrow on THIS LINKIPOO and support Writerghoulie before she goes bonkers and starts talking about herself in the third person again. She does that. She’s a real pain in the bahookie.

So excited was I to show you the cover for Last Impressions, Book Three of the Marnie Baranuik Files, that I had to log in three times for my website, because I kept failing those math questions that prove you’re not a robot. As I have long suspected, I must be a robot who’s bad at math and resisting carbs… That’s my excuse and I’m sticking to it, kooks. YOU DON’T KNOW.

But here she be, folks, fresh off the presses and brand spankin’ and ready to roll, the cover for Last Impressions!

Thanks to Greg Simanson and Booktrope Editions for once again providing me for a gorgeous cover! *wine, cupcakes, confetti, happy dance!*