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Monthly Archives: August 2011

What Do You Get When You Cross …

What do you get when you cross AJ Aalto with summer vacation? HEY! That wasn’t very nice. You were supposed to say “golly, a whole lotta fun” or something that was at least not face-slappingly cruel. Boy, I need some new friends. Here is my vacation, condensed, like that really horrible No-Name Cream of <insert veggie here> Soup in a can that blobs out into the pot with a semi-solid plurp! and makes you wanna hurl? Yes, exactly like that.  1. A bra burning. …

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The Angry Astrologer (Or, Fuck Taurus!)

  GEMINI: Hiya! We’ve actually “met” about 100 kajillion times before–most recently this weekend–but who are you today? We know you like variety, Gemini, but could you please, for the love of Cheez Nips, pick a face and stick with it for more than one day? You’re making those batty Aquarian nutbars look stable by comparison.  CANCER: Just because you secretly love being spanked and called a dirty little fucktoy doesn’t make you a bad feminist … worshipping 24/7 at the Altar of the Wondrous Wiener does. Your judgment is …

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