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Daily Archives: July 15, 2011

Things I Didn’t Do

A couple of these might sound like somethingĀ I could have done (if you’re a bunch of suspicious narrow-minded creeps, which–if you’re reading my shit–must be true) but I didn’t. No, for realsies! 1. I DID NOT suck all the pimentos out of the olives. And spit the olives back in the jar. And hide the jar in the back of the fridge. Clearly, my house is haunted by a poltergeist who digs pimento. That could so happen. There’s probably already …

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