{"id":357,"date":"2011-05-14T13:57:21","date_gmt":"2011-05-14T18:57:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/?p=357"},"modified":"2011-05-14T23:19:48","modified_gmt":"2011-05-15T04:19:48","slug":"the-stylish-blogger-awards","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/?p=357","title":{"rendered":"The Stylish Blogger Awards"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Hollywood-grade Klieg lights threw their carbon arcs into the sky … y’know, in my imagination. <\/strong><\/p>\n

When first I heard I’d won a Stylish Blogger Award, I thought: about fuckin’ time! No, wait … you\u00a0didn’t hear that. That was my ego,<\/strong> a\u00a0slippery little\u00a0gremlin who (in 1998 on a sweltering\u00a0night in late July–with\u00a0the candle stick in the conservatory<\/em>)\u00a0murdered my shoulder-Angel & -Devil. My ego now squats by my right ear, combing his prissy little goatee, murmuring honeyed,\u00a0sycophantic commentary\u00a0and uttering the most lascivious–OW!<\/em> I call him Cedric. *swats at the right side of her<\/strong> head*\u00a0Cedric nibbles my earlobes, and\u00a0bites when I sass him.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 \"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<My ego, “Cedric”,\u00a0AKA Mephistopheles><\/strong><\/p>\n

I was nominated for this lovely award by an equally lovely\u00a0Canadian writer, <\/strong>Jack Flacco<\/a>,<\/span> <\/span>to whom I am very thankful.<\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/strong>
\nThe rules associated with accepting the Stylish Blogger Award (just backspaced over Booger Award, which is something else entirely<\/em>) are simple: sacrifice a goat to Belphegor, Great Demon Lord of Vanity and Sloth, and then–no? Oh. “Cedric” informs me this is the Old Way; in thanks for his swaying the judges, I can just offer up some 150 yr old whiskey, half a dozen chicken livers\u00a0and a transient.\u00a0Good news,\u00a0cuz\u00a0goats are expensive these days, and hard to slip past the neighbours. Waaaaait a minute …. *tries to give her shoulder passenger the hairy eyeball* <\/strong><\/p>\n

The Rules are actually as follows<\/span>:<\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Thank and link to the\u00a0blogger who nominated you.<\/strong><\/p>\n

2. Share 7 random facts about yourself.<\/strong><\/p>\n

3. Pass the award onto 5 new-found blogging buddies.<\/strong><\/p>\n

4. Contact the winners and congratulate them.<\/strong><\/p>\n

So, here are 7 things<\/span> you never needed to know about AJ Aalto<\/span> and will wish you hadn\u2019t learned (wondering now if Mr. Flacco didn’t just nominate\u00a0yours truly\u00a0so he could dig up some dirt.\u00a0But that\u00a0may be\u00a0“Cedric” talking again.)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

1. I may write murder mysteries and horror novels, kinky paranormal\u00a0thrillers full of detailed forensic goop (clinical term, verrrrrry scientific<\/em>) and slice-n-dice monstery goodness \u2026 but I am, in person, about as deadly as an empty pillowcase. No, for realzies! <\/strong><\/p>\n

2. While I enjoy\u00a0snuggin’ into dark, enclosed places (the opposite of claustrophobia … claustrophilia?<\/em>) and have been known to sleep in a closet or under my bed, I do not (as of yet) own a coffin. I know, right? What\u2019s up with that? <\/strong>\u00a0<\/strong>\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

<AJ’s future bed, minus the lady with the hammer and nails><\/strong><\/p>\n

3. I got trapped in a Zellers department store once by clowns. And if that’s not\u00a0the perfect synopsis for a horror story, I don’t know what is.\u00a0See,\u00a0as I approached\u00a0the\u00a0store, I hadn’t noticed\u00a05 clowns in full make-up collecting for charity.\u00a0When I glanced up and saw them, \u00a0my terrified brain\u00a0kersploded<\/em> into a mushy grey\u00a0soup (a thick stew,\u00a0more of a cassoulet c\u00e9r\u00e9bral<\/em>)\u00a0without telling my legs to stop pumping.\u00a0So I continued past them into Zellers, promptly forgetting a) why I was there in the first place and b)how to do that thing, y’know,\u00a0where you suck air into your lungs to sustain life? I wandered\u00a0those\u00a0aisles, lightheaded, my frantic heart clobbering my ribs, for a solid hour \u2026 before realizing the store had another exit. I’m\u00a0cool like that.<\/strong><\/p>\n

4. My two favourite sounds are thunder<\/strong> http:\/\/bit.ly\/m9TdmM<\/a>\u00a0 and a male lion\u2019s territorial roar <\/strong>http:\/\/bit.ly\/ljNnWS<\/a>.\u00a0\u00a0 Guess my idea of heaven is the cat cages at the zoo during a storm. The sound I think is pretty much the worst ever in nature? This red fox call in the dark<\/strong> http:\/\/bit.ly\/jrTD47<\/a>\u00a0<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>5. When the sun goes down, I live by candle light. Candles in the kitchen, on the bathroom sink, in my bedroom. <\/strong>If the power went out, I might not notice …\u00a0<\/strong>unless of course I was watching Firefly reruns. Then I\u2019d be all “Mal, what the frak?”<\/em> I’m a gal who needs her\u00a0Fillion-Fix.<\/strong><\/p>\n

6. Every day\u00a0I spoil myself terribly–(who can\u00a0pamper you better than you, I ask?)<\/em> I spend every cent, devour every passion, heed every urge, attend every temptation. I rarely deny myself anything, and aim to wallow in pleasure. (What’s that chortling–Cedric, hush, I can’t hear myself think with your sulphuric stink-breath wafting in my face<\/em>) I am a dyed-in-the-wool hedonist, and\u00a0110% unapologetic\u00a0about it. Want a Cheesecake-Ice-Cream-With-Skor-Bits cone at Marble Slab?\u00a0Then why the fuck\u00a0would you\u00a0not <\/em>have one??\u00a0You want it. That means: GET IT. GET IT NOW. GO NOW. No one’s gonna get it for you. Vault past the old lady, give the punk in the white leather jacket\u00a0a flying-elbow to his pock-marked forehead, put the guy at the front of the line in a headlock, and scream at the startled ice cream scooper GIVE ME\u00a0THE LARGE, MOTHERFUCKERRRR<\/em>. (side note: it’s a medical mystery that I don’t weigh 897 pounds. Also: I should probably not be allowed out in public without a chaperone)<\/strong><\/p>\n

7. I have a degree in biology (no guff!) and enjoy manipulating science to explain how magic, monsters, demons, ghosties, zombies, \u00a0and other things that go boo-snarl-gnash<\/em> could plausibly exist.<\/em> Then I toss that science directly in the face of my main character, Marnie Baranuik, a \u201cpreternatural-biologist-slash-psychic-detective\u201d. My favourite writing pastimes include: naming carrion insects, inventing scourge plagues, unnatural world building, and word-weaving a perfectly rotten description.<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>And at last, the best part: <\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a05 Nominations for Great Blog Reads<\/span> and winners of the Stylish Blogger Award are as follows (Cedric, please! Pretty sure eardrums are not made for drum rolls\u00a0*sigh*):<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

1. Al Boudraeu:\u00a0supportive friend,\u00a0brilliant man\u00a0and author of the intensely paced thriller In Memory of Greed. Check his blog here: <\/strong>\u00a0http:\/\/alboudreau.wordpress.com\/<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

2. Steve Umstead: whose novel Gabriel’s Redemption made me wish I could write sci-fi.\u00a0\u00a0http:\/\/steveumstead.com\/<\/a>\u00a0If I ever do manage the genre, you’ll know “Mayor Steve” was the inspiration.<\/strong><\/p>\n

3. Everett Powers: tireless indie champion, and author of the Grant Starr thrillers, beginning with The Mighty T\u00a0\u00a0http:\/\/everettpowers.blogspot.com\/<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

4.\u00a0Michael R. Hicks:\u00a0an inordinately talented writer, author of the bestselling In Her Name series\u00a0\u00a0http:\/\/authormichaelhicks.com\/<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

5. Wendy Sparrow: whose light-hearted,\u00a0goofy wit\u00a0makes me LOL daily.\u00a0\u00a0She’s a rare spirit, give her a look-see! http:\/\/ladybugsroar.blogspot.com\/<\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>(Author’s note: AJ Aalto is just plain silly. Anyone visiting this blog for serious matters is lost on Flapdoodle Trail, a dangerous downhill donkey path leading to the vast Valley of Ineptitude. Go back while you can and consider yourself warned.)<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Hollywood-grade Klieg lights threw their carbon arcs into the sky … y’know, in my imagination. When first I heard I’d won a Stylish Blogger Award, I thought: about fuckin’ time! No, wait … you\u00a0didn’t hear that. That was my ego, a\u00a0slippery little\u00a0gremlin who (in 1998 on a sweltering\u00a0night in late July–with\u00a0the candle stick in the […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[3],"tags":[40,41,42,43,4],"class_list":["post-357","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-writing","tag-awards","tag-blogging","tag-firefly","tag-hedonism","tag-writing-2"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=357"}],"version-history":[{"count":117,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":480,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/357\/revisions\/480"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=357"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=357"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=357"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}