{"id":3105,"date":"2014-08-27T12:41:28","date_gmt":"2014-08-27T17:41:28","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/?p=3105"},"modified":"2014-08-27T12:41:28","modified_gmt":"2014-08-27T17:41:28","slug":"glutton-logic-when-all-else-fails","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/?p=3105","title":{"rendered":"Glutton Logic (When All Else Fails)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

Muse: Yo, toots.<\/p>\n

Me: *glare*<\/p>\n

Muse: You should write.<\/p>\n

Me: Meh.<\/p>\n

Muse: No, for realz. You’ve already started something. You started THREE somethings. We like it, all of it. It was going so well the other day.<\/p>\n

Me: The other day I was all wheee<\/em>. Now I’m meh<\/em>. Roll with it.<\/p>\n

Muse: Are we stuck on meh<\/em>? Can we get back to wheee<\/em>? What button do we press to get off this ride at wheee<\/em>?<\/p>\n

Me: If I knew that, smartass, I wouldn’t be anywhere near meh<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Muse: You know…when you finish a book, someone might buy you a cake.<\/p>\n

Me: Wonka-wha?<\/p>\n

Muse: Or a pie.<\/p>\n

Me: Or a cake-pie?<\/p>\n

Muse: Because that has happened.<\/p>\n

Me: It has. But… I’d have to come out from under the bed.<\/p>\n

Muse: Well, yeah, that’s true. You’d have to do that long enough to type some words. Maybe a few more months of typing.<\/p>\n

Me: And then the launch stuff.<\/p>\n

Muse: Right. You’d have to stay out to eat pie.<\/p>\n

Me: Cake-pie. I want cake-pie.<\/p>\n

Muse: Whatever. How about we put your new book cover on the cake?<\/p>\n

Me: CAKE-PIE!<\/p>\n

Muse: You can’t put your cover on a cake-pie! There’s no icing on a cake-pie!<\/p>\n

Me: YOU DON’T KNOW.<\/p>\n

Muse: Fine, YOU show ME how you can put an icing-cover on a goddamn cake-pie and we’ll fucking get someone to do it, agreed?<\/p>\n

Me: You promise<\/em> I can have treats?<\/p>\n

Muse: Of course I do. Because if all else fails, toots, you can buy your own goddamn cake-pie with all that big, juicy book money. You could probably buy two cake-pies. Or six.<\/p>\n

Me: *excited now* One for each book. Yeah.<\/p>\n

Muse: Yeah.<\/p>\n

Me: Line ’em all up on the counter.<\/p>\n

Muse: There ya go.<\/p>\n

Me: We could call the slices “chapters” ‘cuz they’re pieces of a book.<\/p>\n

Muse: What-the-fuck-ever. Justwouldyouplease<\/em> write now?<\/p>\n

Me: *smiles dreamily* Tomorrow. I will tomorrow. For cake-pie. Six cake-pies. I feel better already.<\/p>\n

Muse: We’re going to have to do something about that damn dog barking, though…<\/p>\n

Me: Cake-pie. OH OH, what about SCONE-TARTS! Are those a thing? LEMON MERINGUE SCONE-TARTS. I think we should see if the Pie Man can make us scone-tarts.<\/p>\n

Muse: Aaaaand I’ve lost you.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Muse: Yo, toots. Me: *glare* Muse: You should write. Me: Meh. Muse: No, for realz. You’ve already started something. You started THREE somethings. We like it, all of it. It was going so well the other day. Me: The other day I was all wheee. Now I’m meh. Roll with it. Muse: Are we stuck […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3105","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinions"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3105"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=3105"}],"version-history":[{"count":23,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3105\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3131,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3105\/revisions\/3131"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=3105"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=3105"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=3105"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}