{"id":2892,"date":"2013-11-17T11:54:01","date_gmt":"2013-11-17T16:54:01","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/?p=2892"},"modified":"2013-11-17T11:54:02","modified_gmt":"2013-11-17T16:54:02","slug":"happy-fuckin-ho-ho-ho","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/?p=2892","title":{"rendered":"Happy Fuckin’ Ho Ho, ‘Ho"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Not to sound like a Grinch…but I dread Christmas shopping this year. Finding the perfect gift for someone is a task I do not like to half-ass. The joy of seeking & discovering something JUST RIGHT for a loved one is very satisfying, but the hunt is time-consuming and stressful. As some of you may know, I am home as a caregiver almost 24\/7 with a child who is unwell, a child whom I wouldn’t dream of dragging with me to a packed mall. My free time is, at this point, limited to 4 am-7 am, or 4 am-9am on a work day…and the odd evening that I might slip out for an hour to remember who I was before Brain Goblins attacked my kid and changed our lives in ways we could not have expected.<\/p>\n

I can barely juggle my day-to-day; I try, but the truth is, most days are an epic fail. How am I going to juggle the hurricane of holiday expectations? The shopping alone just boggles my brain. I cannot imagine how I might–? No. You know what? I give up *tired laugh* I can’t. I’m throwing in the towel. I’m waving the white flag. Done. Out. Nope. Can’t. Everyone’s getting the same thing.<\/p>\n

Dear People on my Xmas List: I’m going to one<\/em> store, and buying 55<\/em> of the exact same thing. If you’re lucky, the mood to Christmas shop won’t strike when I’m at the sex shop. “Yes, Virginia, I DO SO want 55 COCKASAURUS REX dildos. PUT THEM IN THE GODDAMN BAG AND TAKE MY CREDIT CARD.”\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n

Holiday problems: SOLVED.<\/p>\n

Points scored: zero<\/p>\n

Stress accumulated: minimal<\/p>\n

Guilt: Fuck guilt. I’m letting myself off the hook this year.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a>How are you handling holiday crunch time?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Not to sound like a Grinch…but I dread Christmas shopping this year. Finding the perfect gift for someone is a task I do not like to half-ass. The joy of seeking & discovering something JUST RIGHT for a loved one is very satisfying, but the hunt is time-consuming and stressful. As some of you may […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2892","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinions"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2892"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2892"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2892\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2900,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2892\/revisions\/2900"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2892"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2892"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2892"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}