{"id":2883,"date":"2013-11-12T06:30:21","date_gmt":"2013-11-12T11:30:21","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/?p=2883"},"modified":"2013-11-12T06:30:21","modified_gmt":"2013-11-12T11:30:21","slug":"duelling-with-cookies-at-dawn-rescued-by-my-second","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/?p=2883","title":{"rendered":"Duelling with Cookies at Dawn (Rescued by my “Second”)"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"\"<\/a>Greed: I want a cookie for breakfast.<\/p>\n

Me: You’re having an egg.<\/p>\n

Greed: Pfft. An egg is not a cookie.<\/p>\n

Ego: We’re so smart.<\/p>\n

Me: Shut up, the both of you. We’re having an egg and tea and getting back to work.<\/p>\n

Greed: Cookies are good. There’s one cookie left.<\/p>\n

Me: No. I’m not eating a cookie before dawn!<\/p>\n

Ego: We can tell time. We know about nutrition. We’re smart.<\/p>\n

Greed: The cookie is right by the kettle. I can eat it while I’m making tea.<\/p>\n

Logic: To be fair, a cookie eaten while making tea is not a meal. That’s a snack.<\/p>\n

Me: Whose side are you<\/em> on?<\/p>\n

Logic: Ours? If we eat the cookie, they’ll be gone, and we can’t be tempted to eat cookies if they’re gone.<\/p>\n

Ego: See? So smart.<\/p>\n

Me: No snacks before breakfast!<\/p>\n

Greed: So we can have the cookie after breakfast.<\/p>\n

Logic: That isn’t exactly what we said.<\/p>\n

Me: The cookie IS NOT HAPPENING.<\/p>\n

Logic: The only way to assure that is to throw it in the garbage.<\/p>\n

Greed: *chokes*<\/p>\n

Me: *hesitates*<\/p>\n

Logic: But that would be a waste…wasting is not smart.<\/p>\n

Ego: We’re smart. Mom said so.<\/p>\n

OCD: *psssst*\u00a0((You have to be smart. The opposite of smart is dumb, and dumb is not acceptable.))<\/p>\n

Me: *mumbles with mouth full* I hate you all. *brushes cookie crumbs off shirt*<\/p>\n

OCD: \u00a0((If there are no home-made cookies in your house, maybe you’re not a good enough mother.))<\/p>\n

Me: Oh for fuck’s sake. Since when?<\/p>\n

OCD: ((I’m just trying to help you be a good person. You have no cookies. Other people are allowed to fall down on the job, but not you. Better get baking.))<\/p>\n

Logic: “Fall down on the job?” Who are you kidding? Have you seen her laundry? Look at the dust bunnies under the couch. And those windows could use a shine…<\/p>\n

Me: I’m going to stab you both with a fork in a minute…<\/p>\n

OCD: ((But Allison feels like a good mother after she’s baked treats for the kids. Let’s guide her toward feeling good…))<\/p>\n

Greed: Cookies do<\/em> help us write.<\/p>\n

Me: There’s no data to support that theory!<\/p>\n

Ego: Data. Theory. *proud grin* We’re so smart. Mom was right.<\/p>\n

Logic: Mom was biased.<\/p>\n

OCD: ((Uh oh, does that mean you’re dumb? That’s not allowed…))<\/p>\n

Me: ARGGHHH!! *goes for the fork*<\/p>\n

Muse: *clears throat* Are we doing this or what? *taps foot* … *points to desk* I’ve got an idea… you know that reporter at the crime scene? …look at this… *wicked little smile*<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Greed: I want a cookie for breakfast. Me: You’re having an egg. Greed: Pfft. An egg is not a cookie. Ego: We’re so smart. Me: Shut up, the both of you. We’re having an egg and tea and getting back to work. Greed: Cookies are good. There’s one cookie left. Me: No. I’m not eating […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2883","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-opinions"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2883"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=2883"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2883\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2890,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2883\/revisions\/2890"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=2883"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=2883"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=2883"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}