{"id":1656,"date":"2012-02-02T23:40:00","date_gmt":"2012-02-03T04:40:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/?p=1656"},"modified":"2012-07-31T11:17:29","modified_gmt":"2012-07-31T16:17:29","slug":"taking-it-to-the-grave-4-worlds-collide","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/?p=1656","title":{"rendered":"Taking It To The Grave 5: Worlds Collide"},"content":{"rendered":"

Tonight, an Evil Author Interview of a different sort …\u00a0while I host Mark Everett Stone, author of “Things to Do in Denver When You’re Undead” and “What Happens in Vegas Dies in Vegas”, I don’t actually interview him. Actually, I don’t interview anyone. My main character, ex-forensic psychic and pro-derfwad Marnie Baranuik, interviews his main character, seriously badass monster hunter Kalevi Hakala, from Kal’s point of view. Buckle up!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n

I watched the pretty little bit of a thing burst through my office door under a full head of steam. She should be splattered all over the front lobby thanks to a couple of silver deer slugs wielded by our more than capable Receptionist, but she was in my grille instead, mouth running faster than Jesse Owens.<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa right there, short stack,\u201d I growled, hand on my Lahti 9mm, ready to draw. \u201cYou made it past Sandy, who should have stopped you with extreme prejudice, which means you know what we do here.\u201d My Interdiction spell kept me from being specific.<\/p>\n

The blonde\u00a0said, “I told her I was here to knock some sense into you, and she said it was about time someone did. And don’t call me short stack, cockwaffle.”<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cKnock some sense into me? It\u2019s been tried and the only way I get sensible is if I get sensibly dead. You say you have questions, fine. Spit them out, then we can talk about jail time. Spill, I have a Fatburger with my name on it waiting for me.\u201d My stomach growled, eyeing my liver for lunch.<\/p>\n

“My name’s Marnie Baranuik. My author said YOUR author suggested that YOU and ME work a case together, but\u00a0 YOU and my Harry can’t be around one another, and I’m here to make sure–”<\/p>\n

\u201cWhoa, Tex, I understand your confusion. Our authors couldn\u2019t untie their shoes without us. Makes us valuable, but I don\u2019t know any Harry, or hairy, or hare-y. I just work here. Now, if this Harry is a \u2018who\u2019 instead of a ‘what’, then if he keeps his nose clean, I won\u2019t have to turn him into sushi.\u201d There I go with the food metaphors again. I really was hungry<\/em>.<\/p>\n

“Sushi!” The little blonde’s nose wrinkled. “He’s not bloody Cthulhu. So,\u00a0I don’t have to, like, kick your ass or anything?”<\/p>\n

How can I ignore such a straight line? \u201cWell, I have some other suggestions regarding my ass\u2026.\u201d<\/p>\n

Her response was a quicksilver smirk.\u00a0“Don’t give me any ideas, hot shot.\u00a0Here.” She gave me\u00a0a box of\u00a0Lucky Charms. “I brought this in case I had to bribe you.”<\/p>\n

I took the leprechaun-decorated box reverently, flashing the tasty tidbit standing there looking all shamefaced one of my patented 1000 watt smiles. There are few things in life that can give such pleasure and a tasty cereal is one of them. Marnie sat oppposite, propping her red Keds up on\u00a0my desk, and said,<\/p>\n

Marnie:\u00a0Can I ask you about your author, Mark Stone? Is he like, mentally unstable like my author is?<\/p>\n

Kal: Mentally unstable? Kid, the man is three kinds of crazy and four kinds of fool for not getting professional help!<\/strong><\/p>\n

Marnie: How often does Stone write you into a scene and then *whoopah!*<\/em> erases the whole thing and acts like it never happened? Do you get a lot of rewrites?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Kal: Nah, he\u2019ll stare at the computer for hours while I sit in limbo bored outta my tree waiting for him to be all creative and inspired. Actually, I think it \u2018s the caffeine that really gets his juices flowing. In the form of several cups of coffee. I mean, really\u2026the dude must have an intestinal tract made out of asbestos. As for re-writes, about three per book is all he can stand to second guess himself.<\/strong><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n
Marnie: Is this him? *turns a picture on Kal’s desk*\"\"<\/a> I can’t keep AJ’s picture on my desk; she’s all about the meta, sure, but she’s fuckin’ shy–hey, holy shit, your author is HOT!<\/em> I mean, omg, jeez … sorry, but … wow. He’s so … *gulp* Sorry. Uh, questions. Right. Think, Marnie, think!<\/div>\n
\n

I raised an eyebrow, almost touching my hairline. If she thought he was handsome, then maybe it was time for me <\/em>to put on the charm.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Marnie: When Stone has you out there kicking major monster ass and performing feats of insanity, does he consider your safety AT ALL? How many special skills did he give you preemptively to make sure you can get the job done without getting your ass handed to you?<\/div>\n
\n

Kal: He gave me SEAL training, that\u2019s about it besides the rage that dominates my life, my ace-in-the-hole. If I wanted safe, I\u2019d be in an Iron Man outfit. Although, come to think of it, the little turkey manages to have my ass kicked from here to the moon on a regular basis.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Marnie: How often does Stone have to go back and seed the early chapters with new skills to make sure that later in the book when some baddy\u00a0pops up, you’re ready for it?<\/div>\n
New skills? What did she think I was, a Transformer? <\/strong><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n
Kal: I have all the skills he had given me in the beginning, nothing new really.<\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
Marnie: Does he reward you with sex scenes? Cuz, I’m telling you, I ain’t gettin’ nearly enough rewards: espresso, sure, but she took away my cookies, she makes me live with a cold snotty dead guy, the hot dude I wanna screw won’t do me…it’s almost like\u00a0AJ hates me. Does your author do nice things for you? If so, how can I get him to write my<\/em> scenes?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
If she only knew\u2026well, hell, misery loves company. <\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Kal: He implies sex, but you\u2019ll never see<\/em> sex. Don\u2019t get me wrong, I get plenty of action, thank God, but it\u2019s not between the covers of the book. And boy, doesn\u2019t that suck the big one. But at least he doesn\u2019t give me all sorts of relationship angst where I constantly worry about \u2018Does she love me? What\u2019s going to happen next?\u2019 Bleh!<\/strong><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n
\n
Marnie: Do you ever get exhausted that Stone throws so many complications your way, or are you as badass as you seem? Frankly, I’m exhausted just being in the same room with you.<\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n
Kal: It\u2019s my job to field the crapstorm my author slings my way. Period. End o\u2019 story. But to be honest, I need a vacation. That and some vodka and hot and cold running redheads<\/strong>.<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
Marnie: Do you ever go off-script and surprise your author, totally blindside him with something?<\/div>\n
\n

I laughed long and loud. Screwing with Stone was what I lived for. After all, even fiction needs some entertainment. <\/strong><\/p>\n

Kal: All the time. The fun part is watching him twitch and sweat through the logic traps. Sometimes I just lay back with some hot buttered popcorn and make a night of watching him sweat.<\/strong><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
Marnie: He’s got you chasing shit all over the place. First Denver, then Vegas–which took you to some ODD places … well, you tell it better than I do. Where has he sent you, and where is he sending you next?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Kal: Well, as you can tell by the titles, every adventure is city based. First Denver, then Vegas by way of another world, London and Nazi-occupied France. Next is San Francisco, after that Chicago, then Omaha. Yeah, I said Omaha\u2026thrillsville.<\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
\n
\n
Marnie: Picture this: mild-mannered and slightly quirky writer sitting innocently at his desk, pounding out his daily words, and then … If YOU could be the author for a day, and write some shit to stick into Mark Stone’s life for YOUR amusement and entertainment, what would you do to the poor guy?<\/div>\n
<\/div>\n
Good question and I had the perfect answer. <\/strong><\/div>\n
\u00a0<\/strong><\/div>\n
Kal: I\u2019d type him rich, that way he wouldn\u2019t be so quick to pound out these action-adventure pieces putting me in the path of far too many bullets! Rich means he\u2019ll get lazy and maybe retire me. Then I could finally relax\u2026\u201d Ah, perchance to dream!<\/strong><\/div>\n
<\/strong><\/div>\n
\"\"<\/a>(Editor’s note: AJ Aalto–SO not pictured on the left, honest–is sick in bed with the chickenpox, so her main character, Marnie Baranuik, stepped up to the plate. You can connect with Stone on Twitter <\/em>@M3verettStone <\/em><\/a>or check out his\u00a0<\/em>website<\/em><\/a>. “Things to Do In Denver When You’re Undead”, the first book in his popular dark urban fantasy series (From the Files of the BSI),\u00a0can be found <\/em>here<\/em><\/a>.)<\/em><\/strong><\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Tonight, an Evil Author Interview of a different sort …\u00a0while I host Mark Everett Stone, author of “Things to Do in Denver When You’re Undead” and “What Happens in Vegas Dies in Vegas”, I don’t actually interview him. Actually, I don’t interview anyone. My main character, ex-forensic psychic and pro-derfwad Marnie Baranuik, interviews his main […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[39],"tags":[38,37],"class_list":["post-1656","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-indie-interviews","tag-indie","tag-interview"],"aioseo_notices":[],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1656"}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1656"}],"version-history":[{"count":22,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1656\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2046,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1656\/revisions\/2046"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1656"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1656"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.ajaalto.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1656"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}