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<\/a> standing\u00a0for … nevermind) I’ve had some great feedback from advance readers–mentors, gurus, professionals in the field, various celebrities–from which I’m sure I can cull some quotes for marketing material. It’s very exciting, and I’m so pumped and honoured that these fine people took the time to be\u00a0thoughtful, astute and gracious to me and my work. I thought\u00a0this might be the perfect time to\u00a0share all of this\u00a0grand praise<\/em>\u00a0with you, so you can share in my happiness.<\/p>\n“I will definitely buy your book when it comes out. Now,\u00a0slowly\u00a0hand me the picklefork.”–Dr. W,\u00a0 psychiatrist<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cI never know what you’re going to say next. You might blurt out 8 of the 11 secret herbs and spices. You’re a friggin’ enigma.\u201d\u2014some guy I know<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n “Your main character is totally undoable. I hate her. Also: she’s you.”–same guy<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n “I’ll\u00a0mace anyone who doesn’t\u00a0love your book.”–Same Guy’s wife <\/span><\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n “Of course<\/em> I liked it, I’m your mother.”–my mother<\/strong><\/p>\n “I’ll read it someday. Probably. I’m skipping the sex parts.”–my dad<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n “I loved it! I LOVED IT!\u00a0Sure! What are we talking about?! Jesusfuck<\/em> lady, what’s with the picklefork?”–alarmed passerby<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n “It’s a winner! This book will\u00a0make millions!\u00a0I need a raise!”–my combat butler<\/span><\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n “An electrifying thrill-ride, humour and chills blended by a master wordsmith.”–imaginary critic in my head<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n “But how do we get her into<\/em> the\u00a0straight jacket\u00a0without her suspec–oh, hi honey.”–my husband on the phone, bragging again<\/em> about how awesome a writer I am <\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n \u201cNice Ass!”\u2014dude in bus station<\/strong><\/span><\/p>\n That last one’s going on the book jacket. It really says all you need to know about my book.<\/p>\n To be serious for a moment (OK it’s me, I’ll be serious for as many as 2.3 seconds)<\/em> I truly am pumped about the launch of this book. I know\u00a0I’m not supposed to think of a novel as “my baby” but this has been a loooooooong labour and holy crapbaskets am I ever anxious to\u00a0boot it out of the nest to fly on its own. You know, like\u00a0you do with real\u00a0kids. What?\u00a0You mean I have to–oh.\u00a0Right.\u00a0I knew that.\u00a0I’ll let them back inside in a bit.\u00a0They’re hardy little buggers, a\u00a0little rain won’t kill them.<\/p>\n Proofs will come from the printer soon … at which point, I will undoubtedly spread them all over the floor, strip down to my Darth Vader Underoos and roll in the pile with near-naked abandon, the way I do with my cash.\u00a0(Side note: it’s difficult but not impossible to roll in a “pile” of one five dollar bill. Also, cashiers might not take it if it smells like perfume and cleavage sweat–but strippers will. Or so I hear<\/em>)<\/p>\n
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